As the series begins.


Marriage is the bond that 2 people get into for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part.

I sometimes find myself thinking about the perfect marriage and what it entails, so I decided I am going to produce a serious of articles that will go through my views on the institution of marriage and its person meaning to me.

I am happily married and even though (like normal people) have our ups and downs more ups than downs though, which gives me good reason to be grateful for love. I recall a time when I thought I didn’t want to get married, EVER. I was so disillusioned by the broken marriages and broken relationships, my past broken relationship and all the frogs I had to kiss before I met my prince.

I now refer to him as my King, he is my king because in our palace he is the head, a strong head, a head with great understanding and reason and love, so much love it baffles me as to how I, the non-believer of marriage and “great relationships” ended up with my King. I am taking a journey of my life my marriage and my King to hopefully capture the happily ever after of my story.

Indulge me as I go through the journey I would like to call Flowers by day and Weeds by night.

Creating Ourselves: Identity

How would I define my identity? Thought for today.

Cats and Chocolate


Identity is fascinating. If we didn’t find it fascinating, there would be no interviews, no memoir, no ‘I’, as such. To identify each other, we talk about interests, beliefs, our dreams, our likes and dislikes, our passions. We talk about where we think we belong, what our past has been, what our present is, and where we think we’re going. Or we are ‘rebels’ in some sense of the word – setting ourselves apart from the culture we grew up in, or apart from the culture that people attribute to us.

It fascinates me because I’ve noticed that my identity has shifted, along with how I define myself at any one time. I used to define myself by what I consumed: my favourite TV series, my taste in music, what I wore.

Nowadays identity is something I consider deeper, rooted in a sense of my experiences and how I’ve responded…

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The day you walk down the aisle and you look at your partner standing in front of you, give a small smile of approval and you both exchange vows in front of God, your friends and family is the day you get taken.

Taken from the single completely independent world, you now in a union. A self chosen union, you are one with another and they are one with you.

You are taken from selfish love and no commitment, you now are committed to be with one till death do you part, for better or worse etc.

Is there a price to pay for this selfless act of giving?
giving yourself to another selflessly?

There is a price for everything including being taken, and the price to this is immeasurable love, trust, compassion, commitment, intimacy and faith.

I am taken and loving it.

Till Death

I do… The words that every one standing by the alter wants to hear from the other party on that day!
I wonder if I could say I do and really mean I do?

I do agree to share my life…
I do agree to share my wealth…
I do agree to try and put you first.
I do agree to be there when you need me, even when I know its not possible…

I do agree to think about your feelings even when you sometimes dont think about mine…
I do agree to take care of you, when all I want is for you to take care of me.
I do agree to have sex(make love) just because you want to tonight…

I do agree to consider a whole lifestyle change because I think you want that too…
I do agree to be a wife and for you to be a husband( for you to run the show in my house).
I do agree to bear children and look after them including you…

I do agree to partake in daily decisions that I know you have decided on, on your own.
I do agree I will tolerate the bullshit(bad habits) that you posses.

I do agree to believe we are equal even though I do not feel it.

My word I really do think you need some sort of unconditional love to be able to agree to put yourself out there for someone else, because of an I do!

I may be sceptical about the I do part but really, there is so much to consider before marriage.
Love is never enough!

Thinking in progress…

Love lost, Love gained

I have come to believe that life is a journey not destination, in my journey I have loved and lost love.

Apparently the fundementals of a loving relationship is trust and communication, I strongly agree with this. Coming out of one relationship into another has been some sort of challenge as I still find myself repeating old habits… Trying to trust full with no bur what if?
To love fully as if I were never hurt.

Love is my challenge right now, but I guess I cant let lifes challenges hold me back.

A life lived in fear is a life half lived.

Those fundementals of love is exactly the challenge I want to overcome!

I call it love!

Thinking in progress…


The female brain is much more adept at reading subtle facial and verbal emotional expressions. Some woman say that only when men see actual tears they realize that something is wrong. This is why women have to cry four times more than men do, to signal distress.

Thinking in progress…

Reset button

I’m reflecting on a short story I have read and finding that life indeed has a funny way of panning out even if you have planned it to the last detail. Planning is essential, I still believe it is, yet when life throws you a curve ball do you duck? Or stand there and take the hit, fall, only to raise stronger than you were before? The answer to that is still pending.

Reset button is about a half alien, half human born little girl, who’s mother told her never to push her belly button because if she did she would fall pregnant and become a mother at a young age ( this was actually meant to prevent her from killing her self, because she was half human, half alien all her alien components would stop working if she pressed her belly button). Obviously the young girl needs to understand the, logistics of being with child, but the mother never really explained it to her. This is the mistake most mothers make to prevent their daughters from being overly exposed to the cruel world, programing the fear of being a mother and not explaining the reasons why being a mother is a big responsiblity only goes so far with an inquisitive little girl( especially when they have an intelligent alien mind ). 

One day the little girl comes home from school tormented by her friends trying to reset her, she tells her mother who continues to lie to her by saying that, the children who are trying to get her pregnant are rotten children and she should try to make them wonderful children -such as herself – and if she cannot do that then she should never have children, after thinking about it for a few minutes


little girl sticks her finger in her belly

button and dies.

I have been wondering how many lies have been told to prevent me from resetting myself? How many of those lies do I still believe? It’s funny how when you get to a certain age and you realize that there are many things you are willing to do that your parents couldn’t do because they had the fear instilled in them, I have no limit to my knowledge, I do not want limits to my experiences if I can live to tell the tale, I so wish I never have a reset button and no one tries to push it.

Thinking in progress…